my family

Love Had to be Patient

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Our relationships through life are a huge part of who we are. Usually, we don’t consciously think about what we are learning from them. We spend our lives around people and that creates our environment. We are a product of our environment. Everything from our mannerisms to our interests are usually influenced by the people around us. We respond to situations and make decisions based on how we have seen others do the same. We have emotions and feelings when we are born; the people around us are the ones that teach us how to deal with them. We can be taught the proper way of reacting to our emotions or to allow them to do harm to ourselves or others. Also we can miss the benefit that they can bring to us and the people around us.

I can’t imagine going through life without being loved and loving others. I’m one of the lucky ones. I have people in my life that love me and taught me to love. My parents, grandparents, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends all showed me how to love in their own unique way. Today most of those people are still teaching me how to love and are joined by my wife, kids and new friends. God showed me His love long before I was ever born by saving me from myself! Love is a divine gift that we benefit from. 1 Corinthians defines love in verses 13:4-7. My mother is one of the most unselfish, loving, kind hearted people I have ever met! If you used God’s definition of love as a check list for my mom…….

Love is patient

Love is kind  

Love is not jealous

Is not proud

Is not conceited

Does not act foolishly

Is not selfish

Is not easily provoked to anger

Keeps no record of wrongs

Takes no pleasure in unrighteousness

Rejoices in the truth; love bears all things

Believes all things

Hopes all things

Endures all things.

She doesn’t miss one on the list! I think she has those written down someplace and refers to it frequently. She shows me how awesome it is to be loved and to love others. She takes care of everyone in the family without hesitation or complaint. She has taken care of me, disciplined me, supported me, cried with me and laughed with me. She is beautiful inside and out. She puts everyone ahead of herself and always has. My mother is a constant in my life. We live 440 miles apart and only see each other in person 2 maybe 3 times a year, but I know she loves me and is there for me. Sorry I was and still am a hardheaded boy. Thank you for all you have done and continue to do for me and everyone else. Most of all, thanks for loving me and showing me how to love others! Love you!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7    Psalms 22:6

Our journey up to date, well mostly…

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Ok time to finish the update of our journey. Let’s start in June 2010. I’m in the middle of my layoff, Angela is working full time first time since we have been married and we are 440 miles away from our family. A friend runs the rental division of a local realty company. I am cleaning out houses and cleaning up yards when renters move out. Let’s just say that people can be really, really nasty. I’m looking for a job as hard as I can. Finally in August or early September I find a post for an estimator position at John Deere Landscapes. I apply. I have a friend that works there. So I go talk to Jon-Mike and tell him that I would love to get my foot in the door there. Thanks to Jon-Mike I got an interview. The position is under my normal pay scale, way below my training and skill level. When I went for an interview, they never asked me if I could do the job. I spent an hour convincing them that I would stay more than 6 months to a year. Cliff later told me that there was a bet and his money was on me leaving in 6-9 months. I absolutely loved the majority of people that I worked with at Deere. Our office was a fun, productive place. Work got done but we also had fun! If you left the room, you had to be prepared for some kind of prank when you came back. Everything from stealing wheels off your chair to pull string firecrackers taped to your door. There were lots of changes in corporate level structure. I was there for 3 years and I had 3 different bosses. All of my direct supervisors were great, above them not always the case. I had plenty of time on my hands. My schedule was very flexible and I had almost no responsibilities.

God used that time to mold and shape myself and my family into what he needed us to be. I could devote large blocks of time to the men’s ministry at Seacoast Summerville and to my family. Skip came to me and a few other guys in March or April of 2010 and said that he wanted to start a Men’s Adventure Group, focused on hiking, kayaking and all outdoor activities. It would be an opportunity to get guys together and involve them in a community of solid guys that love God. We met on Thursday night at the church. It slowly began to grow. We started with a kayak trip down the Edisto River. The event went very well! God was at work in this group of guys! I had always been one that never thought I needed a bunch of friends. I always had a couple close friends growing up. Clint and Dennis were always there and had my back. I had many “acquaintances” but very few friends. The guys in the group have become lifelong friends to me. Larry, Chris, Mark-Peanut, Mark-not Peanut, Lou, their families and many more have all played a part in who I am now and my ability to serve my family and the God that loves me and saved me! This group of 8-10 has grown to a Tuesday night service that draws a group of 25-35 guys weekly!

God has also knit people into my life from outside the group that are equally as influential in my life. Seth, Phil, Wilt, Harry, to name just a few, has played a huge role in my life and have helped God direct and guide me. Of course we can’t leave out Jon-Mike! God has put us together for periods of time that no person should endure with me. We worked together, went and served the Church together while I was at Deere.

Angela and the kids have developed the same types of friends! We have a strong, Christ centered community. They all serve the Church in various ways and all have a close personal relationship with Jesus! The way God has grown my family is amazing. That is not to say we don’t have our issues but we are grounded in Him. Angela has changed employers. She went to work a few years ago for a different orthodontist. He is a really great Christian guy who takes care of his staff, patients and his community. My daughter is in the 9th grade, struggling with the remnants of a concussion (see my last post). My son is in 7th grade and wrapped up in being a typical 12 yr old boy. That leaves me. I took a full time ministry position with Seacoast Church back in October. This week will be my 6 month anniversary. Seth now gets to put up with me during the commute, at the office and during the weekend services! I am challenged and overwhelmed at times, that God has called me. I know that I can do this because of my experiences, my support system and my faith in knowing that He loves me and through Him anything is possible.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-28

Getting back to normal??

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OK, I know that I said I would continue the story from the last post. I also said I would do it a week ago! I am sorry for not doing what I said I would do. It has been a tough week or so. My daughter has been in and out of the hospital for the last week and a half for headaches and my son broke his foot, at school, Thursday a week ago.  Thank God that they both seem to be on the mend and life is getting back to normal. Actually what is normal? Aren’t bumps, bruises, struggles and lows part of the real normal? When you get married and you recite your vows doesn’t it usually say something about for better or for worse? Who wants to believe that “worse” is going to be part of their normal? No one, but the truth is that we will have “worse” in our lives. For me, hard headed as I am, I learn quicker when I am struggling than when things are good.

My daughter has been struggling with headaches since the end of September. She was playing with the normal after-church crowd at the playground and hit her head when she fell off of the tire swing. She never told us that she hit her head; just that she was tired and wanted to go home. A week went by and she was complaining of headaches and sleeping every hour that she wasn’t in school. Finally after a week we took her to a couple different doctors’ offices and figured out she had a concussion. The routine was to be rest, no school and no exercise. Those of you that know her know deep down that none of those will be easy for her. She missed an entire 9 weeks of school. She is an Honors student and she takes her future and her personal goals very seriously. She was tired of resting. She was tired of not running. She wanted to get back to normal.

After Christmas she was doing much better. Almost all of her school work was caught up and she was having less severe headaches. January was a decent month for her. She went to school most days, she had 2 tutors helping her and she was handling things well. One day she decided that she was now fine. Her thoughts were that if normal people can be back to normal by now then she should be way ahead of them! She told her trainer that she didn’t have a headache and decided to do a mile and a half on the stair stepper. Let’s just say it went downhill from there! She might have gone to school 8 out of the 20 school days in the month of February. Her headaches were now a 7 or 8 on the pain scale, constantly. Well after 2 ER trips and 4 days in the hospital, she is now doing much better. She had aggravated and inflamed her brain and she wasn’t letting it heal. Stress over grades, anxiety over wanting to run and worry about when her life was going to get back to normal were all causing pain and issues keeping her from her normal life! She learned the effects of stress, anxiety and over doing it have on your body.

Sometimes we push so hard for our vision of normal that we cause issues physically, financially, relationally and spiritually. Our perspective of normal is skewed by our environment, our dreams and our perception of what other people tell us is normal. It is great to have dreams, goals and ambitions but we must also learn to view periods of “worse” as part of our normal. Maybe we won’t get ourselves all worked up over bumps in the road. If we are living like God intended us, then we have supportive family and friends to help us along the way.  Thanks to our friends and family for the help and prayers over the last few months! Normal comes with bumps and bruises. We have to give God thanks and be content through those times.  Remember that no matter how low we get, Jesus gave us hope through His greatest struggle!