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Create in me a clean heart

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I have an issue. My issue is that I don’t like to admit I have issues. Can we ever truly grow without addressing the issues that hold us back? Why would we not fix something that separates us from God, our family, our friends and the full life that God wants for us? We struggle with repentance! It’s not even a word we like using in our daily conversations. Our sin separates us from God. Our sin holds us back from growing more Christ like. Our sin causes damage to our relationships in life. Our sin causes damage to those we love. Our sin causes damage to us. The sooner we can address our sin and grow closer to the image of Christ, the better it is for everyone. Our growth away from our sin most importantly glorifies our God.

Repentance is the first step. It’s a hard one! The first step to change is usually hard. It’s hard for me to say that “right now I’m going to change my eating habits to a healthy lifestyle”. It’s hard to get out of the chair and go to the gym. Repentance is where we decide that we have been wrong, acknowledge that we have been wrong and plead with God to help us change our ways! David does a better job than I could write on what this should look like. Psalms 51 is a beautiful example of a desire to change and pleading for the strength and the help to do it! We can’t do it alone. God wants us to change and is ready for us to ask him to help! Hallelujah, we need Him. If we can remember that, we are already on the right path!!

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem; then will you delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭51:1-19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

On our way

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It’s been 6 months of study, prep, meetings and shots……..can’t forget about the shots. I had to get 5 shots and take an oral vaccination. I don’t really mind shots but the price hurt way more than the shots. The good news is that I can travel the world much easier, so let’s go!

Anyway, as the nurse was giving me my shots, I started a conversation with her. Just the normal exchange of pleasantries in the beginning but then it took a turn. A turn that I was excited about at the time and a little floored, because I was convicted of some of my own issues. This RN was probably mid 30’s, very well spoken, well dressed, well traveled, well mannered, extremely friendly and a practicing Muslim. She said there are usually only three reasons that Americans travel to Uganda: safari, mission trips and service projects that are not church related. I told her mine is a mission trip and I explained how God intends to work through us and the ALARM team those 11 days. She asked about my faith and I asked some questions about hers. She already had the basic grasp about the essentials of my faith. As she was preparing one of the shots I said that I would be happier when all these shots are finished. She looked me straight in the eyes and said “Wasn’t your God pierced on a cross for you?”. My first reaction was that I was speechless….. That doesn’t normally happed to me. I felt like she stared straight through my eyes and into my soul with the stains of my brokenness lit up like neon sign. She wasn’t judgmental, she was just pointing out a flaw in my way of thinking, in a nice way. I was convicted and I apologized to her for not correctly representing or honoring my relationship with my Savior and His sacrifice.

As I am writing this, I am over halfway over the Atlantic Ocean on my way to Brussels and then on to Entebbe. It’s quiet, I think. I have noise canceling earbuds in with my “Worship” playlist cranked to drown out as much of the ride noise as I can. I slept for about an hour and now I’m just reflecting on the prep for this trip and how I am 46 years old and I think one day I will just magically stop procrastinating and doing important items last minute.

If you know me at all you have probably heard me grumble on about how Jesus didn’t call us to come sit in church. He called us to go! Go out into the world and tell everyone about Him! He calls us to live our lives as close to His as we possibly can. We can’t live like him but through His power and redemption, he wants us to strive for that goal.

How dare I complain about a few shots when my sin put Jesus on that cross? These shots are even to keep me healthy, not to harm me at all. Jesus kept his eyes focused on The Father and only did His will. He always started with prayer and reflection to keep in line with Gods perfect will.

It’s not that often that I get 30 hours to reflect and pray. I have even been complaining about the long trip but again, it’s been a blessing to me and my spiritual and emotional well being. My trip began when I said yes. It’s time to go out and be the Church!

Matthew 28:16-20

Love them??

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I can think back over my life and make a list of 3 or 4 people that I never would like to see again. I am at the point in my life where I no longer wish for them to burst into flames. I just would not like to be reminded of the situations that caused these feelings. I forgave them years ago and I wish them well. However, do I love them? Wait a minute, love them, do I have to? Forgiving was fairly easy over time. Forgetting is more difficult. Loving them would take more grace than I alone have. Most of these people live 400 or more miles away from me, so I don’t have to deal with them on a regular basis. What about people that we deal with daily? Maybe there is someone at work that we just don’t see eye to eye with. We all have a neighbor that we could live without. There is a grumpy, rude, unpleasant individual that works at store where I buy lunch. I don’t really have anything to forgive these types for but, do I love these people?

In Matthew 5:43-44 Jesus says to love them and pray for them! Ok, now I have to love them and pray for them? Not just the people we don’t want to be around, but our enemies also. Just for the record Jesus doesn’t mean that we pray for their brakes to fail or anything like that. But wait….there is more. Proverbs 25: 21-22 says that I have to feed and give my enemies water. Now I have to feed him and give them water also? We not only have to do this but we have to do this with a pure heart. We have to want to do it. Wait for it….there is more! Leviticus 19:18 says some stuff about not seeking revenge or holding a grudge. OK, so we have to forgive them, love them, pray for them, feed them, give them water and do this without holding a grudge???? And we have to do this because we want to not because we have to????

No problem (sarcasm)! I said earlier that loving them would take more grace than I had alone. I need to pray for myself also. Pray that my own pride, resentment, selfish issues be moved out of the way or better yet taken away. I will never do this perfectly. I’m so thankful that God forgives me, loves me, talks with me, feeds me, gives me water, doesn’t seek revenge, doesn’t hold a grudge and does it all because he wants to!

John 15:12

Love Had to be Patient

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Our relationships through life are a huge part of who we are. Usually, we don’t consciously think about what we are learning from them. We spend our lives around people and that creates our environment. We are a product of our environment. Everything from our mannerisms to our interests are usually influenced by the people around us. We respond to situations and make decisions based on how we have seen others do the same. We have emotions and feelings when we are born; the people around us are the ones that teach us how to deal with them. We can be taught the proper way of reacting to our emotions or to allow them to do harm to ourselves or others. Also we can miss the benefit that they can bring to us and the people around us.

I can’t imagine going through life without being loved and loving others. I’m one of the lucky ones. I have people in my life that love me and taught me to love. My parents, grandparents, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends all showed me how to love in their own unique way. Today most of those people are still teaching me how to love and are joined by my wife, kids and new friends. God showed me His love long before I was ever born by saving me from myself! Love is a divine gift that we benefit from. 1 Corinthians defines love in verses 13:4-7. My mother is one of the most unselfish, loving, kind hearted people I have ever met! If you used God’s definition of love as a check list for my mom…….

Love is patient

Love is kind  

Love is not jealous

Is not proud

Is not conceited

Does not act foolishly

Is not selfish

Is not easily provoked to anger

Keeps no record of wrongs

Takes no pleasure in unrighteousness

Rejoices in the truth; love bears all things

Believes all things

Hopes all things

Endures all things.

She doesn’t miss one on the list! I think she has those written down someplace and refers to it frequently. She shows me how awesome it is to be loved and to love others. She takes care of everyone in the family without hesitation or complaint. She has taken care of me, disciplined me, supported me, cried with me and laughed with me. She is beautiful inside and out. She puts everyone ahead of herself and always has. My mother is a constant in my life. We live 440 miles apart and only see each other in person 2 maybe 3 times a year, but I know she loves me and is there for me. Sorry I was and still am a hardheaded boy. Thank you for all you have done and continue to do for me and everyone else. Most of all, thanks for loving me and showing me how to love others! Love you!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7    Psalms 22:6

per·spec·tive

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  \pər-ˈspek-tiv\   noun

   a :  the interrelation in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed <places the issues in proper perspective>; also :  point of view

   b :  the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance <trying to maintain my perspective

Some of the things that I avoided when I was younger have turned out to be things that I celebrate and cherish now. One of those is diversity in people. I love being around people of different ages, backgrounds, races, upbringings, vocations, politics, nationalities and even religions.

All of us view life through different lenses. Our differences start with the fact that we are all unique, one of a kind, God created individuals. So this means not one of us sees anything through our “life lens” exactly the same way. No two lenses are the same from the beginning. Then we add a different layer or option to the lens for each uncontrollable variable in life; social, economic, environmental, geographic, genetic….etc. Life experience, either positive or negative, can polish or scratch our lens. We also have to include our choices in the mix. Some people want to see the world brightly so they may opt for the yellow tint, others choose a grey tint and yes I am sure a few will ask for an abstract pattern lens.

How can we expect anyone to view anything the same as we do? If we constantly allow our emotions to cause a division, then we will never be able to value perspectives different from ours. This is not to say that every perspective is correct. There is value in discussion and disagreement! We can have convictions, opinions and can even be completely correct on a subject but we also need to be open minded enough to hear another perspective. Growth happens through this type of interaction. I can still love and value people even when we don’t agree. Our recent culture tends prevent relationships from flourishing when perspective is misaligned.

Do yourself a favor and take the time to view the world through as many different lenses as possible. You don’t have to compromise your values and convictions, but it will give insight into how others view the world. Remember that there is a story behind every “lens”, stories of great joy, great struggle, heartbreak, triumph, ignorance and wisdom.

Revelation 7:9-17